Friends dragged me out to see The Cabin in the Woods. I’m not sure if I can really recommend the film or not. It was an objectively good, clever movie with some nice special effects and an interesting premise. But it was also a horror film, with all the tropes and hooks that implies, and I really… don’t like those. I have a hard time watching or reading things like that because they have a tendency to stick with me for a long time, not really leaving my brain. It’s part of the reason I stopped visiting the SCP Foundation. It’s a great website, but I’ll see things and…
I explained this to my friends after we saw the film because they had a hard time understanding why I disliked watching the film so much when it was actually really good, and I explained this to them and they asked me if I’d considered counseling. Apparently other people don’t keep getting flashbacks to somewhat traumatic things they’ve seen or read for weeks at a time afterwards. Which is news to me? Because I will occasionally flash back to things that happened to me years ago so I figured it was relatively normal. I don’t know if that makes me damaged enough to need medication or whatever they’d do to me or not. I don’t really trust psychology. Not that I don’t think it’s a valid and helpful discipline or that I think the people that are helped by it don’t legitimately need that help. I just know the times I’ve gone to get counseling it inevitably boiled down to sitting down and talking to a vaguely disinterested guy for a few hours, and then afterwards nothing had ever really changed and not only did it not help but I kind of got the feeling I didn’t have any business being there. I suppose I wasn’t fucked up enough that there was anything to actually fix.
I don’t think living is supposed to hurt this much, but I don’t know, so I don’t know if it merits medical intervention or what. Whatever it is, it’s probably all my fault, so I don’t think anyone would really be able to help anyways. I’m sure I’ll get it right one of these days and maybe the hurting will get better, or I’ll at least get used to it.
In the meantime though, I gotta say, after watching this movie, I kind of realized that a lot of people create a lot of fucked up stuff and are not only accepted by the mainstream but lauded for it. So you know what? I’m not going to feel bad about writing stories about ponies fucking or doing weed or whatever. At least in my stories nobody’s getting their heads sawed off or whatever horror movie fans get off to. Seriously, do people actually like watching this kind of thing or is it some kind of bizarre manhood ritual? Because I’ll stick with my candy-colored equines, thank you very much.
So, another thing from rewatching the season finale. Everyone’s been talking about how Rainbow Dash appears to kiss Fluttershy after saving her from the Dash-copies.
Despite my constant shipping goggles, I didn’t see this at all when I watched it the first time, and I was REALLY skeptical when looking at the gifs of it afterwards. I watched those gifs forever wanting to see a kiss, and I dunno, I just saw Dash lean forward a little when she picked up Fluttershy. Saying that they actually kissed and that this was intentional is an extraordinary claim and I wasn’t seeing extraordinary evidence.
But like I said, I rewatched it this afternoon and paid closer attention during that scene. And the actual episode has a very relevant thing that gifs don’t have: sound. There is a sound effect when Dash’s and Fluttershy’s muzzles appear to meet. It seems to be a kissing sound effect. I don’t see anything else that could cause that sound in that moment.
…I don’t know what to think anymore. I feel like a crazy person for even considering it. I mean, they wouldn’t do that, right? That would be such a big deal. And it’s still pretty ambiguous and I’m skeptical. But it’s a lot less ambiguous than I first thought and I’m so confused.
Same thing here. When I first saw the episode I didn’t even blink at that scene, and then someone pointed it out. I rewatched it, and it didn’t really seem like that was what was happening, so I kinda panned it. Then later on the same conversation happened again, and I rewatched it again, and… honestly at this point I don’t know. Dash leaning towards Fluttershy could just be her picking her up, the sound effect could just be the sound of Fluttershy being pulled upright like they sometimes do in tv to emphasize movement… but it really looks an awful lot like they’re stealing some quick makeouts.
It doesn’t really make any sense though. I mean, if they’re going to have the characters smooch, why there? Are they trying to make it ambiguous? Is this another little nod to the fandom, or just an awkwardly animated scene?
…and if they’re going to give us a nod, why those particular ponies? FlutterDash is cute, but it’s hardly the most popular couple…
So I sat down earlier today. And I was gonna write some MLP fanfic. And I had the germ of an idea I wanted to play with. And I didn’t have a title for it. So I just. Wrote down the first thing that came to mind.
So now I have a text program open entitled “Rarity Fucks on the First Date.”
And then some friends come over and it turns out someone’s having a birthday so we all go out for pizza and then we come home and play Dominion because he likes Dominion and as per usual the game takes like three. Fucking. Hours. To play.
I fucking hate Dominion.
So I come in here afterwards ‘cause everyone’s gone home or gone to bed and I’m gonna sit down and do something. And I look at this file. At this thing I’ve written.
I have actually typed the words “Rarity Fucks on the First Date.”
If something happened to me right now, people would come into my room and after they moved my corpse they would find “Rarity Fucks on the First Date.”
And now I am seriously thinking it would be a net gain for everyone involved if I just set my computer on fire and killed myself.
Discussions of the MLP season finale going pretty much the way you'd expect:
Samus: Which, though the whole thing, I was yelling, “SUCCUBUS SUCCUBUS SUCCUBUS,” but even though MLP is great about including obscure mythological monsters, I guess succubi are off the menu Ragnell: What the fuck Gelg: XDDD Scarab: Changeling succubus. Magnus: she kind of was Magnus: she was feeding off his energy/love/magic Samus: Mags: G-rated succubi Magnus: and he thought she was his fiance, so they probably fucked Samus: After all, MLP’s version of the Wendigo didn’t turn ponies into cannibals Samus: Though that would have rocked Scarab: And then she blasted off again. Magnus: hee hee hee Zafflesia: Mags Samus: Mags: I cannot picture ponies having sex before marriage. It’s a world made out of cake and cookies. Scarab: Hell went unguarded for a couple hours. I’m sure there are nastier monsters out there. Zafflesia: I have honestly never thought about ponies having sex until YOU started watching the show Samus: pfffft Ragnell: What the actual fuck! Samus: Well, fillies have a penis and stallions have a vagina Samus: oh wait a minute Wolf: There’s plenty of people in the BDSM community who love this new MLP. Particularly the ponyplayers. Samus: strike that. reverse it, thank you. Magnus: word of god is they reproduce sexually! I’m not making this up! Ragnell: Here, wait, I know how to fix this, I’ll just be a moment * Ragnell stabs himself in the face Zafflesia: lol no not those ponies Samus: Yeah, I could see the Ponies being a big thing in ponyplay Ragnell: Okay, I’m better now Zafflesia: I mean candy skittles cartoon ponies Samus: Mags: I imagine Faust has been asked more than once Magnus: yeah, someone asked her if little ponies reproduce through budding Magnus: and, completely unsolicited, she profferred the information that they reproduce the same way real ponies do Samus: Budding XD Samus: But with the way the ponies are anthromorphized, they probably do it missionary style. Scarab: Their legs do bend in non-ponyish ways. Magnus: POSSIBLY Scarab: For example: http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/138/942/130823115489.png?1308800130 Samus: Scarab: I NOTICED Zafflesia: Man she’s basically made of gelatin Zafflesia: a gummy pony Zafflesia: a real horse tries to sit like that, it’s probably looking at disintegrated thighs Samus: Oh god, but gelatin comes from hooves Zafflesia: … Zafflesia: PERFECT Samus: I AM A PONY MADE OF HOOVES Zafflesia: it’s like a horrible but cute amalgamation of horses killed for their hooves Magnus: … jesus christ, and you guys scream when I talk about ponies fuckin’ Magnus: yes, that’s much worse than a pony golem made from gummed horse corpses
kiapurity said: …this kind of feels like it’s a bit directed at me, ahahaha
I assure you, it is directed at THE ENTIRE INTERNET.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t post whatever you want on your own blog, and I would never say that you should feel bad for doing so, I’m just letting people know that I see Garrus’ crab ass face when I sleep and I didn’t even play the games.
Please don’t stop being enthusiastic about a thing you’re enthusiastic about. I’m not trying to make any personal attacks. I just had to scream.
And I know a lot of people are still very excited/upset about it.
And they are perfectly within their rights to be so.
But god damnit, I gotta say this once.
I am sick to death of being bombarded with anything Mass Effect.
The only reason I’m not being more belligerent about it is because in a little less than a month Diablo 3 will go live and it’s not so much that I’ll have my revenge so much as I’ll just stop caring about anything else.
On repeated viewings of the scene, I am forced to admit that it really does look like Rainbow gave Fluttershy a quick smooch when she pulled her to her hooves.
We can take this to mean that Flutterdash is canon, or we can choose to believe that Fluttershy is simply so adorable that even a very manly pony like Rainbow Dash cannot resist the urge to kiss her little head when she looks like she needs it. Or possibly that she’s so adorable even the animators can’t resist the urge to make a very manly pony like Rainbow Dash kiss her little head when she looks like she needs it.
Fluttershy is so adorable that her very existence causes a singularity that draws in and absorbs errant kisses and makes them her own.
I can’t stop laughing what the hell is wrong with me. XD
Thank you to all the animators and writers and voice actors and directors and producers and every other person who had a hand in this season and the last season and this show in general.
I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for one of the greatest seasons of television I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching. You consistently went above and beyond for us, and showed just how much you love making this show by making it practically flawless all year long.
And I thank you not just for the show- but for the community that has sprung up because of it. They are some of the best, most talented, and amazing people in the world and I love them all to death.
We love the show as much as you guys do, and it shows in the all-around quality of this fandom.
Thank you so very much for 26 episodes of absolute perfection, and here’s to another 4 seasons and a movie.
I’m going to read more it so that you can choose to scroll on by, but keep in mind that I’m not saying I have anything against people who ship these but rather that for various reasons they do not prick my fancy.
Agreed on Braeburn. He strikes me as a cool guy, but a lot of the fanworks about him makes me twitchy.
Twilestia now… I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t like it, the pairing is certainly more than a little kinky. There are a lot of stories where Celestia seems to be using Twilight or taking advantage of her, and it’s hard to see how she wouldn’t be, given their difference in age and power.
What I like, though, are the stories where Twilight’s the one bringing something out in Celestia. Celestia strikes me as a fairly sad character, someone who really doesn’t care for all of the adoration and worship she receives, and would prefer to just be friends with everypony. One could even suggest that, after so long, she might have forgotten what it was like to connect with another pony on a personal level. I like the idea that maybe teaching Twilight and getting to know her helped Celestia to crack her facade a little. For all her hero worship, maybe Twilight is one of the few ponies who sees past the crown. Twilight likes Celestia for who she is and what she’s done, not because she’s the god-empress of ponydom. I imagine that means a lot.
Of course, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they have to make out, but it’s one potential permutation of their relationship and is, for various reasons, one of my personal favorites. Absolutely understand if some people prefer to headcanon them as very good friends, though.
So my car is in the shop right now. Miscellaneous little things that need to be checked up on and whatnot, not a big thing. In the meantime I’ve borrowed my sister’s car, because she’s driving my dad’s at the moment while he’s overseas on a business trip. My sister’s car is… kind of a different shape from mine. Driving it is kind of disorienting. It has a Tinkerbell sticker in the window. Not the manliest ride. But it was very sweet of her to let me drive it so I’m not saying anything.
Then today I’m driving home for lunch and decide to stick a cd in. I don’t like listening to the radio, they always go to commercial just as I’m getting into the car to go somewhere. And it occurs to me to check and see if my sister has a cd in there before I jam mine in, and I can’t find an eject button, so I just hit play.
"Huh, this song is really familiar… hey this is the song from that Equestria Girls commercial! I didn’t think my sister… was… into… that’s not Pinkie Pie."
About halfway through “California Grrls” I give up trying to eject the cd and just sit there in stony silence until I get home. And as I’m driving down the road, in a car with a Tinkerbell sticker on it, with Katy Perry warbling in my ear, I wonder, is this what being a girl feels like?
"Is it the Cadence thing, or the penis thing? Cause if it isn’t those, I don’t get it. But I do appreciate a good brick joke."
It’s the Cadence thing I guess? What kills me is the end where Princess Cadence and Shining Armor show up, and Twilight sees her brother, and there’s a moment of dawning comprehension as Twilight and you the reader both realize at roughly the same time exactly what Cadence did to him. It’s hard to make timing funny in prose, but the moment of horrified realization followed immediately by the squicked-out siblings agreeing to never speak of it again had me on the floor.
This might not be a brick joke, actually. I kind of feel like the entire story is just the build up for this one joke at the end, but it really isn’t telegraphed at all ahead of time. Maybe this is a shaggy dog story? Or a shaggy pony story.
I’m just imagining the looks on their faces as they stare at each other and they slowly connect the dots and man that is just not something you want to know about your brother or sister, that’s all I’m saying.
I read a lot of MLP fanfic. Some of it is really good, some of it is just passing the time, some of it I read purely for the “what the fuck” factor. Sometime it overlaps. Y’all know how it is.
This fic right here is straight up porn. This is ponies fucking. It includes some other stuff… I mean, it’s not vanilla. Even if the characters weren’t horses it wouldn’t be vanilla. There’s magic involved, if you get my drift. This is some kinky shit, and it’s based on a little girl’s cartoon.
I am still linking it, and saying that if you’re over the age of 18 then you should at least briefly consider reading it. Not because it’s a particularly great story, the premise is more than a little odd, and not because it’s particularly good porn, though the writer is clearly good at what they do.
No, I am linking this fic because there is a brick joke at the end, delivered with subtlety and precision, that still makes me laugh out loud whenever I think about it. It is god damn funny. I’m serious.
That’s all I had to say. You can go about your business.
Late night musings on the pony fandom. Dunno if I’ve mentioned this before but my fave background ponies have to be Bon Bon and Lyra. There’s just something about the idea of the two of them having adorable lesbian pony adventures that makes me chuckle. It could also be argued that the show’s creators have given the pairing a measure of tacit approval, if not outright confirmed it. It would have been easy for one of them to have been seen in the background nuzzling a stallion during the Hearts and Hooves day episode, both character models are common background fodder, but to my knowledge that didn’t happen. Instead we get Bon Bon in Putting Your Hoof Down running around with Lyra’s saddlebags, which in my headcanon is the Equestrian equivalent to wearing your girlfriend’s clothes. They are so married.
But what’s really interesting to me is the way the fanon developed. Noticing the two of them together a lot and deciding they’re a couple makes sense, but what always struck me was somewhat odd is the way Lyra’s often portrayed as having a human fetish. The mere fact that she was spotted sitting upright in one scene isn’t enough to really argue that she’s the Equestrian counterpart to a furry, and yet there it is in almost every interpretation of the character. Lyra has a thing for bipeds. Bon Bon may or may not take this in stride, let’s be honest it’s more than a little weird.
Then today I noted the way some of my friends have huge crushes on the alien characters in Mass Effect, and it kinda clicked. The reason the fans latched onto the interpretation that Lyra is into xenophilia is because the fandom is into it. We can be honest with ourselves, a lot of fans of the show find the pony characters kind of attractive, or at least imminently huggable. It’s the same for Mass Effect fans who like to fantasize about Garrus’ chitinous dong, or the Transformers fans who want to put it in Arcee’s tailpipe. People have a tendency to express their affection for their favorite characters in a sexualized way, at least in my experience. So why wouldn’t we find it endearing if some of our favorite characters viewed us in the same way?
Lyra the unicorn is kind of a microcosm for the MLP fandom. We have this show with these weird anthropomorphized ponies, and they’re cute as dickens, and we sometimes have a hard time dealing with that. Lyra’s got… I dunno, maybe there are Equestrian myths about human-like creatures, or maybe Twilight got her into a sci-fi series about bipedal aliens, and for reasons she can’t entirely understand she finds these characters attractive. She tries not to be too in your face about it, because she’s aware it’s a bit odd, but she can’t help liking it. She loves the stories, she loves the characters, and sometimes she can’t help imagining what it might be like to get some hot human ass. It’s what fans do. I can relate.
Don’t ask me where the idea that Fluttershy has a castration fetish came from, though. That’s just fucked up.